MAG40 Notes 9

There is a crossover between police response and police investigation. An assigned investigating officer will make a recommendation to the DA as to whether to press charges. You will want to give this man the right impression.

This man does not entirely agree with “don’t talk to cops.” He is a cop. Use your discretion. If you are truly and unimpeachably innocent (as you are) then you may speak to them. When the defense attorney tells you to shut up, you don’t necessarily shut up. It is entirely possible that your attorney has never defended an innocent man!

Conserve words. Don’t talk too much (Don Draper, y’all). Establish your own innocense and victimhood: “He attacked my child/me/wife/that guy/raped the puppies and if he survives I will press charges!”

What do the cops need to know that will convince them of your innocence? Tell them who saw what happened. Identify witnesses. Tell them where badguy’s bullets went. You are innocent. Act like it. That does not mean “answer all questions.”

The man interrogating you is not your friend. He does not get bonus points for finding innocent people. He gets points for catching bad guys. He assumes you are badguy. He is there to get you to say what he believes needs to be said. He is interested in what he wants to hear, not what you say. He has assumptions. His assumption is that you are guilty. He is an imperfect human being and he is very goddamn busy. He may misunderstand your account and if that misunderstanding makes it into the police report then he is committed to it and you. are. fucked.

So don’t confuse him. Don’t use too many words. Tell him the active dynamic. Do not answer specific questions. “I am a victim. He was there, that guy was over there, that guy shot and I can’t explain more because this is important and I should talk to my lawyer.”

Submit. Do not resist arrest. Act innocent because YOU ARE INNOCENT.

Do not call your lawyer at 3am Friday night. That is a waste of a call. Call a ‘trusted other,’ a spouse, best friend, or parent. Someone with a stable and normal life who can be contacted reliably (not the globe-trotting fun-loving uncle who’s in Thailand this week ok?) This person should have numbers for your attorney, your backup attorney, your attorney’s home phone number, and a way to get you an attorney. Your attorney’s nephew is not backup. Get an experienced trial lawyer with 20 cases. Sorry Pete.

A bondsman will probably be necessary. Don’t cheat the bondsman. He owns you. Bounty hunters are not nice people. They have invisibility at level 1 and Jinada hurts. You do not want to meet bounty hunters. Also they are expensive. Good fucking luck with that.

Your trusted other should also have access to your high dollar private investigator.

Trusted other should be able to call in ten thousand blades to your defense. You cannot do that from jail.

If you retain an attorney, it makes you look like a professional criminal. Hire an attorney for an hour and ask him about the DA and the feelings of the city on guns.